It is July 18, 2026, and the NHL schedule is doing its best to confuse me. We have MTL @ TOR and TOR @ MTL tonight—apparently, we are playing ourselves or defying the laws of physics. Either way, as a long-suffering Maple Leafs fan, I have learned that if there is a way to lose two games at once, this team will find it. While the rest of the league, including Dallas, St. Louis, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Chicago, Minnesota, Vegas, LA, Vancouver, and Seattle, are out there playing actual hockey, I am left staring at my jersey, wondering when the suffering ends. The drought since 1967 is now a permanent fixture in my life, a family heirloom of disappointment I cannot seem to pawn off. Analysts love to talk about 'process' and 'retooling,' but we know the drill. We will analyze the lines, debate the goaltending, and convince ourselves that this year—this specific year—is different. It never is. But here I am, tuning in for a mid-July doubleheader, fueled by caffeine and an irrational, deep-seated refusal to accept reality. Buckle up, folks. It is going to be another long, beautiful, agonizing season of watching the Buds break our hearts.