It is August 26, 2026. If you are looking for actual hockey tonight, you are as delusional as I am in April. Despite what some glitchy data feeds might suggest, there are no games tonight. The NHL is deep in its slumber, and my beloved Maple Leafs are currently busy doing what they do best: dominating the off-season news cycle while leaving me to wonder if I will ever see a parade in my lifetime. We are decades removed from 1967, yet here I am, analyzing roster tweaks and hoping that this year’s veteran signings aren't just expensive souvenirs for the golf course. The league is currently focused on the quiet aftermath of the draft and the dust settling on free agency, a time when every fan base convinces themselves their new fourth-liner is the missing piece to a dynasty. For us, it is just the usual cocktail of cautious hope and deep-seated existential dread. We are experts in 'retooling' and masters of the 'almost.' So, grab a drink, enjoy the silence of the rink, and join me in the purgatory of waiting for October, when the cycle of heartbreak inevitably begins anew.